My artistic history

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I am about to share my entire artistic journey. Sometimes I find it hard to believe how could I fall in love with the arts so much but then still study something in commerce first. A lot of it was just hobbies but all of it allowed me to express who I am, therefore find who I am today.

When I was younger I thought that I could try writing songs, because I always had music in my head that I had no idea where it came from. I do not know if I was any good at it, because I never shared that with anyone. It does not matter now. I realised that I liked what I wrote but I could never keep the same music or melody when I would read over it again and again. So, I kept the words but completely erased whatever music I thought would work (turns out I was never musically gifted anyway). That is how I switched to poetry, the first love of my life.

I was/am/always will be a nerdy bookworm. Unfortunately, I have never been good with names (it is my life’s mission to get better) so I cannot name which authors inspired me from whichever book they wrote. I never cared about who they were, all that mattered to me was what they were saying, how they made me feel, their style, where they took me with each sentence. Turns out that is how I see people, I only focus on the inner person, where their heart and mind is at, not so much the outer (just a little bit). I think many people could learn to do that, it helps to not judge too quickly, but to rather just listen/read.

So, allow me to come back. From my love of books, came my love for words and how they can be used to send a message to the next person or tell them a story, to experience an imaginary world just for a little while. Although, I have never written a short story or a book (maybe if you count English Home Language Paper 3) that is how I approached my poetry. I still remember myself sitting with a thesaurus right next to me, that was given to me by my mom. I wanted to tell my own poetic stories about what I was feeling. When I was done, I felt bliss and nobody could take that from me. Here is one of my favourites (just a snippet)

I think I might actually ...
I don't know, I am a little intoxicated in my mind
To think that you have turned out to be one of a kind

I think I might actually ...
Be confused, you make me feel up then down
It is in your affection that I am starting to drown

I think I might actually ...
Maybe, need you for some reason
But that can't be, I'd be committing treason

I think I might actually ...
Be going insane, you drive me up a wall
Unfortunately you would not catch me when I fall 

...
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Typical love poem, I think self-explanatory: I like him but shouln’t.

I moved on from poetry, but I never stopped reading, books will never break your heart. I also realised earlier this year that I still had it, but let’s move on to my second love, dance. She grabbed me with both hands and she never let me go but we were separated for a while (I will explain what I did in that interval). It was in primary school when I joined a hip hop anf modern dancing studio. I was happy to show that off. Every year I had a practical exam and an end-of-year concert, my life was in it. My body just took over and I guess the music I had in my head was not meant for paper it was meant for my physical being. I guess now I need to share my most recent work, I have been playing around on TikTok but I think this choreography was awesome – Click Link. Also this other one I created myself with the song Dior by Pop Smoke.

That is what I do a lot of the time. So I guess I need to explain what was I busy with when I was on my break from dancing. I had decided to take up drama, my other art, my side nigga. I got a thrill from that, whether I was performing or going to watch theatre productions with my dad. It was all mind-blowing for me. I cried on stage once, because I had to share something I had written, my own authentic monologue. Damn, my life was changed, because I enjoyed it but I have no videos of that time, sad.

I always told myself, “If I was not studying in the commerce faculty, I would definitely go into drama or dance.” What a difficult thing to explain to a black family in SA. Also, I am not really into ballet and I have never tried contemporary, which is what most dance schools want from you, oh well.

Going forward, I still dance, it makes me happy. I write this blog, obviously. I read books, but unfortunately I can’t seem to find myself in poetry anymore, a piece of me is still there though, just not explicit. I keep a journal, damn I have words flowing out of me 24/7, I enjoy it though. And I have taken up baking as my new art, I am only in the start up phase, maybe even pre-startup if that was a thing. [in the images: Red velvet cupcakes, pancakes, vanilla muffins, melomakarona (favourite Greek Christmas dessert)]. One day I will be able to decorate and really turn this into proper artistic food, baby steps.

I was never good at visual arts or singing, but I do go to museums and I watch choirs on YouTube (Stellies and Soweto Gospel choir being my favourites) because I appreciate those talents so much because I think all art has its own unique beauty and meaning that the artist shares with the world. I am so grateful that God (whoever God is to you) gave us these amazing talents to be able to express ourselves whenever day-to-day conversation just does not do us justice.

I hope that people continue to showcase their amazing talents and skills, because the world is here to appreciate it. You might not be perfect, or even the best, but keep doing you and express who you are in whatever form you deem fit. Be #Royalty.

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