Lockdown, Halfway There …

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Half of 21 days is 10.5 days, quite obvious! So we have reached the midway point of this gruesome experience. Rumors has it, it might be extended! That’s news enough to make an entire country flood with tears, I think. It is just unimaginable.

On the funny side, I saw a tweet directed to the President saying, “If lockdown needs to be extended, can you please allow for 48 hours to change location?” I found that to be hilarious, knowing how highly I would jump at this opportunity.

It got me thinking and reflecting, why am I so eager to leave what is considered to be home? I came to the conclusion that since 2011, when I was sent to boarding school, this is the longest I have ever stayed in one place.

Let me draw the picture. Before 2011, everything was ideal, I was a schoolgirl coming home everyday to a mother and a sister, occasionally even a father (even then he was a work-a-holic, so nothing changes) and over the holidays I would go to my extended family because that is where I wanted to be. Then 2011 came and I went to boarding school, to make matters even more emphasized, even in boarding school every year I was placed in a new hostel, with a new house-mother/guardian (what we called them). I was only home for some weekends in a month and over holidays, if there wasn’t anything planned to go away to some place nice, then I would go away to my extended family to enjoy a different side of life in the township. Moving on to 2013 to when my mother left home, the start of a divorce process that strained me in all ways, mentally, physically, spiritually, you name it. That’s when I felt the effects of being moved around a lot and never being at home. I was still in boarding but some weekends no one could take me home and when I could leave school I was told to go straight to my aunt or my granny or anyone who could foster me for the one weekend I did not want to be at school.

I became so good at packing and unpacking that I started to hate it (I still do). I got so used to the idea that it is just time to leave and I am only visiting. I couldn’t even remember where certain things stayed and in which cupboard at home, trust I still search like the visitor that I am, it doesn’t help when other visitors ask me about these things and I honestly just don’t know. And now I school and live in Cape Town, for 3 years straight I learned to find myself, not very easy. I only flying back twice a year even then, I can’t stay too long because I feel out of place and I need to find somewhere I feel like me.

So I almost feel uncomfortable with being in the middle of a lockdown, being told that you should stay at home and not go out; it is brand new to me. I wondered if anyone else has gone through anything similar and maybe I should just share my thoughts. I just wanted to let people know that this lockdown is making us go through some awkward situations and we just have to deal for now. Therefore we are not alone, we are just being temporarily socially distanced.

I do not know how we are going to come out of this lockdown. I just know that I can’t wait for it to be over. I want to roam free again. I want to go back to my norm of not being in the same place to long. Although, it was due to unfortunate circumstances, I got used to that life and for now I am quite happy with it, until one day I won’t be (who knows?).

I want to encourage you to keep doing whatever it is that is keeping you together, healthy and happy. For me I have been reading, writing (obviously, I’m blogging) and dancing, making Tik Tok videos (basically doing cover dances, 1 per day, as a 21 day challenge) https://vm.tiktok.com/txxSd4/ -check it out. I didn’t have Tik Tok before this, but I used to see some awesome dance challenges that I always wanted to try so I figured, there is probably enough to last me the whole 3 weeks of lockdown so I decided to have fun with it. I’m not really into gaining a following on Tik Tok so I repost everything on Instagram and Twitter would be great if you followed and liked some of my content, I’ll obviously do the same.

I hope you are all feeling #Royalty. Sending you love and light.

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3 thoughts on “Lockdown, Halfway There …

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  1. Gugu, believe me you are not alone, I feel exactly the same when I go back to Turkey, but in 3 days time all is back to normal 🙂 I adapt very quickly it seems. Also re the lock down, me and my partner had to drive to PMB for a funeral (a family member) just before the lock down and we got stuck here, couldn’t go back. Luckily we are with my partner’s parents and at least we can be helpful to them, shopping and cooking, given that they are 70+yrs old. You can imagine how much we are looking forward to going back home to CT, but on the other hand we are still lucky to have a place to stay… Best

    Liked by 1 person

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